AaronShirt LLC - Official It’s Darius Day Every Day T-Shirts

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In the past, the most prominent feeling that arose whenI got dressed was discomfort.I never wore anything too “feminine” or revealing becauseIt attracted unwanted sexual attention from men.I also never wore anything too “masculine” out of fear that people might thinkI looked, well, gay. Tailored clothing, like my vintage men’s Armani blazers from the RealReal and Brandon Maxwell trousers from 11 Honoré, made me feel most powerful. Since those pieces were hard to findIn plus sizes,I even built my own brand of suiting, called Henning (now part of Universal Standard). These modest, structured, menswearInspired pieces were my armor.

Which were your favorite celebrity looks this week? Be sure to vote below, and check back on Friday to see which ensembleIs the ultimate best dressed of the week. My favorite purchase of 2023Is hands down my L.L. Bean Boat & Tote with GAY NOW embroidered font and center.I slingIt over my shoulder with the cheeky pride of someone who’s been out for years, but as the emblem suggests,I’m a baby gay. To be clear:I have always been a lesbianIt just took me 30 plus years to realize.In all honesty,I assumed thatIfI were queer,It would have been obviousIn my adolescence. SinceIt wasn’t,I defaulted to straightness as the path of least resistance. UntilI started therapyIn my 30s, there was no convincing evidence thatI had been mistaken. There,I learned how to be mindful, feel my feelings, and have emotional breakthroughs.I went over my memories with a fine tooth comb, and found aha moments that had been easy to overlook. (Think: being veryInto queer coded TV characters like Xena, warrior princess; making Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” my MySpace song; being the unofficial president of the Daria Werbowy fan club. Aha.) My experience with style,I found out, was full of these revelations. Looking deeply at my relationship with fashion as a consumer, a clothing brand founder, and a model helped me realize that myIdentity had always been steepedIn queerness.

Suiting worked precisely becauseIt wasn’t the kind of feminine, hourglass accentuating attireI associated with the male gaze. Most of the time while at work as a model, that’s whatI wore and, apparently,It was obvious thatIt made me uncomfortable. Even after years of experience,I recently got feedback from a client thatI should take a movement class. On the surfaceI wasInsulted, butI quietly hoped that a one on one with a coach might be able to dissolve my discomfort.In the end,I spent my entire session talking through the self consciousnessI was experiencing while modeling traditionally feminine fashion no exercises needed.

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